In Quest of a Job
by: Sam Ross

Summer is here. Birds are singing, former students are singing louder, and many a Washingtonian is being re-introduced to the joys of first-degree sunburn. I am sharing the joys of many of my peers around me, although I have a new concern to keep me awake at nights, forced to spend long late hours staring at an AOL instant messenger chat-room (my SN: mildlyevilogre) where I am busy convincing people that I am, in truth, a felon currently serving a 15 year sentence in Kansas State Penitentiary. What I am speaking of is my search for a source of income. A firm foundation for future financial fortunes (say that five times, bitches). In short, a job. As some of you may know, last month’s fund-raiser met with rather limited success, and I am once again at a loss for liquid assets. A job is the best and only solution for my many personal debts, and I shall finally take the plunge into the other side of the world of consumerism. This is not the first time that I considered taking a job, alas. Previous attempts got me interviews at McDonalds and Tacoma General Hospital. Let us say that they did not pan out. Now I shall turn to the new Super Safeway. Perhaps that is where my future will lie. Or perhaps there is another entry-level position in some other food-service setting that is looking for someone just like me. I can only dream.

Look for future updates on my quest for gainful employment.

E-Mail Me!!! sam@djcopydog.com

< = - BACK